Organized Chaos

Something someone said on the Dir en grey comm.

Fri, 26 Jun 2009 09:18:11 GMT

"Both Kaoru and Kyo scribbled out their faces in a visual-kei poster a girl had to have signed. She didn't seem too thrilled, lol."

WIN.

random

Tue, 23 Jun 2009 06:47:59 GMT

I just have to say I fucking LOVE Kyo's new look. I hope he burned the stupid tracksuit and hightops.

Long friggin day already...

Fri, 19 Jun 2009 21:19:16 GMT

I got up early today to go help this lady figure some computer stuff out, and that turned out to be a lot more complicated than it should have been. I went back home to get something, went to the bank, and then I picked up my mother's lunch and took it to her. Then I went back to the computer lady's place to finish what I was doing, and have just now gotten home.

Things I still have to do:
1. clean off my desk so I can find the bills I need to pay.
2. make a trip to a nearby (hour away...in montana, that's nearby) town to get stuff now that I have money.
3. laundry, like, major bad.
4. make dinner because I said I would.
and...
5. burn a CD for someone.

I like having things to do, it gives me a sense of purpose, but I really just want to take a nap. I'm tired already. It's kind of pathetic, I know.

Meh.

Thu, 18 Jun 2009 23:24:19 GMT

I feel creatively dry.

Thanks

Tue, 16 Jun 2009 21:25:57 GMT

Thanks to Sophie and ninth_lady for their feedback. After some deliberation I think I'm gonna go with both of your opinions. It seems truer to what I want, and requires the least amount of revision in the long run, I think.

rolls eyes

Sat, 13 Jun 2009 02:20:31 GMT

Have I said women are crazy? Yeah, they are.

Accomplishment? I think not.

Wed, 10 Jun 2009 04:48:52 GMT

I garnered some much needed ground on my story today, got some much needed fixing done... and then fucked it up by accidentally not saving my work. So essentially I've accomplished nothing today, except for acquiring some much needed music and getting dressed. The outlook for me finishing this book sometime this year is bright I tell you. -_-
I'm going to bed. Hopefully tomorrow I can get some work done that I don't forget to save.

Hmmm....

Tue, 09 Jun 2009 22:07:21 GMT

Interesting development: I lost four pounds. Not sure how that happened, or if it's just a fluke, but hey, that's pretty cool.

The sun is shining!

Tue, 09 Jun 2009 16:42:53 GMT

Woke up early, made myself look nice, got a strong latte, and now I'm ready to go. The day is shaping up to be pretty good so far. Now we'll see how much work I get done.

A little something I wrote for all_unwritten.

Tue, 09 Jun 2009 04:21:17 GMT

“What do you mean you want to move to England?”

“Just what I said,” she replied frankly as she threw a few more items of clothing into her previously forgotten suitcase.

“Evelynn, be reasonable, will you? You can’t just pick up and move to England.”

“And why can’t I?” she queried.

I rubbed my eyes with my free hand, the tumbler of scotch in my other hand nearly forgotten. “Because I love you, that’s why,” I reasoned, “We moved to America to be together. That was the whole point of leaving England in the first place.”

“You decided,” she mumbled. I was affronted, though before I had a chance to say as much she turned to look at me, a bundle of underthings cradled in her arms. “I love you Perry, but not enough to stay here.” She threw the bunch of underthings into her suitcase, and without another word marched back into the closet for another load.

To say I was in shock was perhaps not harsh enough a word. I loved this woman, she was my everything. I’d left my home, my job, my family to be with her, and this was how I was repaid? Did my vows mean nothing to her now?

And then it came to me. Suddenly things became much clearer, and I marched into that closet with determination.

“What did he say to you?”

She looked at me suddenly, her soft curls in slight disarray. “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” she said as she quickly turned back to her garments.

“Yes, you do,” I said grasping her by the arm and turning her towards me. “You know very well what I mean.” She turned her face away, but I didn’t let that stop me. “Yesterday you got a call from overseas. You remember. The one that held you up before our show. That phone call made us late for the theatre.” I turned her face towards me, “And now that I think of it, you weren’t quite yourself after.”

She pushed me away and grabbed another bundle of clothes before glaring at me as she exited the closet. “You’re imagining things,” she said throwing the garments into her suitcase with a particularly impassioned flourish.

“Am I?” I challenged. “It was George, wasn’t it? That damned fool.”

“He is not a fool!” she shouted passionately. I stared at her, shocked beyond words at her actions. “How dare you speak about my brother that way,” she said on the verge of tears.

I softened, trying to make her see reason by not frightening her. “Your brother has never liked me,” I said rationally, “You’ve said so yourself.”

“So?” she pressed, raising her chin in defiance.

“So?” I said feeling rather hurt. “So?” I advanced on her feeling betrayed and used. “So at one point my words used to mean something. At some point I meant more to you than your damned brother!”

“Well things change,” she said challengingly, “George was right. I never should have listened to you!”

“Evelynn, I love you!” I said feeling rather annoyed. How could she not see that?

“You stay away from me,” she warned quickly backing away. “All my life I’ve let other men decide what’s right for me. Well, now I’m going to do what I think is right for myself . . . and that means leaving you.”

I stopped and looked at her, really looked at her. Was this really the woman I loved? The woman I married? Had she really changed so much without my knowing?

“Is this your brother talking, or yourself?” I asked. She didn’t answer. “Fine. You don’t want me deciding things for you, alright. But don’t let your precious George take the place of other men. You want to stand on your own two feet, do it. Don’t just be another puppet for your brother’s sake.” She moved forward keeping a cautious eye on me as she hastily closed her suitcase.

“This is the end for us, Perry,” she said as she slowly backed herself out the door, all the while keeping that wary eye on me. “I did love you . . . once.”

I watched her leave all the while feeling a deep sense of lose and heartache. “I never stopped loving you.”

successful day in the making

Tue, 09 Jun 2009 03:29:25 GMT

I woke up at 1 in the afternoon today, chatted with my old roommate for several hours, made dinner, watched North by Northwest, and contemplated clearing off my desk. It's been a very successful day, thank you.

.... Alright, it hasn't, but I intend to wake up earlier tomorrow so I can clean and hopefully disassemble part of my room.

Wednesday is the day I have set aside for mass editing purposes. I've changed so many little things that I think it's time to read it through from the beginning to make sure everything still flows and there's no continuity errors. I'm hoping to get it all read in one day so I can start on the fine tuning, but I highly doubt that will happen. Here's to hoping though.

random realization

Mon, 08 Jun 2009 07:31:05 GMT

Several hours of reading back posts on jdrabblers has made me want to continue my epic saga. I feel as if I left on an interesting note that never got explored. I've been wanting to do some fun writing lately and what better way than getting reacquainted with the jrock fanficer in me.

On another note, I think I need some new icons.

Boring

Mon, 01 Jun 2009 19:33:38 GMT

In the past couple of months I've been busy with family issues which forced me to take a much needed break from my writing. The book is finished, but the editing process is not. A finalized draft probably won't be done until August. I'm hoping it will be sooner than that, but it's unlikely.

On that note, I'll just say I haven't been up to ljing lately anyway. Perhaps it's because my life is really really boring right now, or maybe it's because I'm more focused on finishing this book. Whatever the case I'll probably continue to be rather absent around here until something changes.

P.S. Thanks for the cake Sophie. I've been meaning to drop a thank you for a long time. :)

Damn

Sat, 04 Apr 2009 09:47:27 GMT

I forgot how creepy sounding and badass Mazohyst of Decadance is.

Music makes the world go around.

Sat, 28 Mar 2009 21:44:12 GMT

Listening to The Smiths, and feeling groovy.

Epic Update.

Sat, 28 Mar 2009 04:50:12 GMT

Two days ago I finished the rough draft of my first novel, and have finally begun the long arduous process of editing. I have also purged ALL my old LJ posts and feel very good about it. I'm a purging sort of person. Sometimes it just feels better to forget and move on. Actually, it feels like that a lot of the time. Anyway, with any luck I can finish editing by the end of May or April and send the sucker off. I'm feeling really good about it, but still have very low expectations. I am very aware that I am an inexperienced writer, but I still feel like I've got a pretty good chance.

For some odd reason this year feels like a year of change. Not a lot has changed so far, but I feel like there's a great deal of it on the horizon. I can't wait to see what the future has to hold, even if it's bad. I need change (any kind), and I need it bad.